* Note to My Readers: Due to the busyness of the next month and a half, I'm making a few minor changes to my schedule of posting. All posts will continue to be made daily and will consist of material that has not appeared before on this blog. However, because my time will be taken up by my final thesis defense for my Master of Church History degree and by a trip to the Holy Land, several of my ongoing series will be on hold until May.

- On Wednesdays, I'll be posting some of my original poems from my college years, and then in May my "Evangeliad" poems will resume.

- On Thursdays, my series on "How to Be Miserable in Your Christian Life" will wrap up by the end of March. That will conclude that series for now; however, if you enjoyed it, please let me know, because I may add more to it at some later point.

- And on Fridays, my "Glimpses of Grace" series will be on hiatus until May. In the meantime, it will be replaced with a serialized, unpublished novella that I wrote back in 2005, "Worth It All." Beginning in the first week of May, "Glimpses of Grace" will return, this time in the Thursday slot, and a newly-composed adventure novel will be posted on Fridays.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

The Doldrums of Affection

It's been too long since I've worked on this blog. It's not that I haven't had the time, really. It's just that my muses for writing seem to have gone silent for now. I've been keeping busy with a few independent research projects, exploring the exegesis of Origen, the history of canon-formation, and certain aspects of Eastern Orthodox theology. But for some reason, the impulse to write has been lacking. Maybe it's a result of coming towards the end of my seminary career, and feeling like I've had enough of writing reports and papers for awhile. It isn't just a disaffection for essays, though--I haven't been writing poetry either. This has been the longest dry spell of poetry for me since I started penning devotional poems during my freshman year of college. So, faced with this dearth of poetry, I (somewhat ironically) decided to write a poem about it. I've posted it below. In my experience, my poetry usually comes either from the deep wells of intimacy with God or from the difficult crisis-moments of my life, so I examine those factors in this poem. While it's mostly about the dryness of my writing, it also reflects something of my feelings in the midst of a difficult season of looking for work and not finding anything.

I have no poetry in my soul...
Strange, that it should go
And leave me wondering where it's gone.
Am I too distant from God, the Fountainhead of song?
Or am I too much at peace,
Too content with myself
And with the present moment?
One would think peace a good thing,
And yet it leaves me dry--
Caught in my journey from angst to joy,
I rock here in the doldrums of affection,
With no breath of God to spur me on.
A strange void, but not unpleasant...
Still, what I would give for a wind!

1 comment:

Steve L said...

Sometimes the wind comes from the deadest of time, the absolute stillness that seems barren of God's presence and then a breeze that turns to a gale- the the fist-size cloud that generated Elijah's torrential downpour.Maybe he is very close-just silent at the moment-be encouraged!