Note to My Readers: Due to the busyness of my summer schedule, in which I'm serving as a camp pastor on top of my normal duties, I'll be putting my ongoing Thursday and Friday series on hold until mid-August. All other days will continue to feature new content as usual, and the Thursday and Friday slots will offer devotional and theological reflections (heretofore unpublished) from my seminary years.

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Learning to Speak Again

Here's a poem I wrote a few years back, but which I hadn't yet posted publicly--one of my many poems of personal devotion, some of which tend to be exultory and some which tend to be anguished, with very little in between. 

Learning to Speak Again

The bright fires have faded now,
Overcome by the reckless twilight of youth.
But still the dream calls out to me,
And I answer,
      Hesitantly at first,
            Hoping for a spark of beneficence.
I am always here with Him;
But now the old custom seizes me,
And the invisible God remains invisible to me
As I lose sight of the heart of reality.
But the cold night ends at last,
And with the warmth of the golden dawn
I feel His touch again
      And realize
            That He’s still there.
How do you begin speaking again
To someone who’s heard all your promises,
The fierce-whispered pledges of a desperate soul,
And watched you break every one?
He, who knows me so well…
And yet I know Him not,
      Or at least not as well
            As I once presumed to know—
And I know myself even less.
But where knowledge fails, trust remains.
I, untrustworthy,
      But He, ever faithful.
I will know Him again,
For He would have me know;
And all my panicked struggles to escape from grace
Will amount to nothing
As I embrace this adventure
Of learning to speak again.

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