I have songs aplenty
Filled with angst about myself.
I am tortured by unseen mysteries
Within my very soul--
Endless words to fill
All the blank and empty pages
Which time will place before me.
But there is a deeper mystery,
A breathless glory
That cannot be given to words alone.
What I venture to speak
Can only be danced
Or painted
Or laughed into existence.
Myself I know only a little,
And what I am learning
Is not entirely pleasant.
But You I also know a little,
And what I learn of You
Is altogether beautiful.
I cannot speak,
Cannot write,
Of the radiance of Your being.
But this I can say--
You make of me
What I always wanted to be.
In You I have the strength
To laugh
And dance
And sing with my brothers.
You bring out of me
Wild cries of delight and hope;
You move my feet in patterns of joy,
My arms in tender embrace.
You breathe into my soul
A secret that I shout into the mist,
A wonder that no one else can see.
And though sometimes I wish
That they would understand,
I know that somehow,
Despite my helpless reticence,
They will see shadows of that secret joy
Behind my patient smile,
Whispers of adventure
Within my faltering speech.
Someday, in a golden land,
This shell will fall away,
And all the peace and silence
You've set within my heart
Will spill out in choruses of raucous joy
That echo before the world.
Sometimes I am pained here,
But because of You
I am not discontent.
Be my courage and my strength,
My every word and only peace,
For all my hope is in You.